Joey Snaps
by cracker184
Summary: Joey and Tea have known each other for a while now, and they've got along pretty well. But something's happened, and Joey is out to get the little friendship-ranting girl... pleez R&R! (FINISHED)
1. The Madness Beginnings

Disclaimer: This is the only time I'm saying this. I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! or any characters related to it. Like I really needed to write that. Chapter 1: The Madness Begins  
  
It had just been an average day at the Domino High School. Yugi, Joey, and the rest of the gang were walking to Grampa's Game Shop. When they got halfway there, Tea starts to scream so that everybody in the whole city can hear her. She yelled, "Everybody needs friends! Friends are the most important things in the world!!" On and on she went, until Tristan grabbed her by the shoulders. Then, she fainted. "That's the fourth time this week." Joey said. "She really needs some mental help. All she talks about is friendship this, friendship that, blah, blah, blah!" They finally made it to the Game Shop. It would have taken half the time if Joey and Tristan didn't have to carry her the whole way there.  
As Joey lay in bed that night, he thought how easy life would be if Tea weren't there to rant about friendship. He thought to himself, 'Maybe I could take her out of the picture. That was the night that changed everything. It was the night that Joey had snapped.  
When he met Yugi and Tristan the other day, he was mumbling to himself. The other two were trying to figure out what was wrong with him. Just then, Tea came running up. "Hey, you guys. What's up?" she said. Yugi and Tristan talked to her, but Joey just kept staring at the ground, mumbling. "Are you alright, Joey?" Tea asked cheerfully. Joey looked up for the first time that day. His hair was a mess. His eyes were blank and vacant. And he looked like he was wearing the clothes he had on yesterday. "Gee, Joey, you don't look too good. Did you get any sleep last night?" asked Yugi. Joey didn't answer. He just stared at the ground again, and started to murmur.  
While they walked to school, Tea fainted again. 'This is the perfect time,' thought Joey. " Are you sure you're gonna be able to carry her, Joey?" asked Tristan. "Don't worry about it," said Joey, as if nothing strange had gone on at all. He had gone ahead and taken the privilege of carrying Tea by himself. Just then, Yugi saw an open manhole. He was about to warn Joey about it, but it was too late. Joey was already at the manhole. His grip started to loosen up until Tea fell. Tristan grabbed her before she fell to her doom. "What's up with that, Joey?!?!" asked Tristan. Joey didn't reply. He just started walking to school, talking to himself.  
"What's up with Joey?" asked Tristan. Yugi said maybe he was sick. Maybe he was tired. Or maybe he was just, plain crazy. They decided that he was sick. When they got to school, Tea was conscious again. She acted like she didn't know anything, like that's any different from usual. When they walked in the school, they saw Joey standing in the doorway. "Wait, don't tell me. You're Thaddius, right?" Tea said. Without answering, he pulled out a knife from behind his back. Tea let out a shrill scream. The blade dropped down, and hit Tea's chest. 


	2. Insanitation

Disclaimer: I lied in the first chapter. I guess I'll write the disclaimer s'more. I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! or any characters related to it. But I do own Mr. Kawasaki and Hall Monitor Fabio. :) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Chapter 2: The Insanitation Begins  
  
The knife dropped to the ground. Tristan and Yugi stared in shock at Joey, then at Tea, and so on and so forth. Tea looked at them both. "What? Is there something on my face?!?! GET IT OFF ME!!!" Tea said, like nothing had happened. " Tea, you're alive?" Yugi asked. Tristan said, "No, Yugi. She died and is now a flesh- eating zombie out to get your brain. Retard." Yugi gave a whimper, collapsed, and started to cry. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, much," said Tristan, trying to calm Yugi down. "Joey, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?! You just about gave us a heart attack!" When he looked up, though, he saw Joey was already halfway down the hall. Just then, Bakura came running up to them. "Where did you find that rubber knife? The Drama Club has been looking for it for almost two weeks!" "The knife was.rubber?" Yugi said. Bakura replied, "Yeah. What, did you think it was real, or something?" Bakura took the knife and thanked them for finding it. "I hate kids with funny accents." Tristan said.  
After Tea had come to her senses, they all walked to homeroom together. When they walked into Mr. Kawasaki's class, they saw that it wasn't just Joey who was acting. "strange". They saw Duke Devlin throwing pencils at some guy who was just sitting in his desk. Duke hit 'em a few times, but then ran out of pencils. Then the noticed some girl, with scissors, trying to cut this other guy and make him bleed. "Is today National Insanity Day, and we didn't know it?" Yugi asked. Tristan walks up to Duke asks him what's wrong. Duke either didn't notice him or didn't care. And Yugi asked the girl the same question. He also got the same answer. "Hey, check it out, guys! I'm an elephant!" Tea said. She stood up on top of a desk and slinged her arm in front of her face and made an elephant noise.  
After Tea got down off the desk, they went searching for Joey again. They sneaked out of homeroom, unnoticed. While they ran down the hall searching for Joey, Hall Monitor Fabio stopped them. "Excuse me, but I'll have to see your hall passes, please," he said in his nasally little voice. "We don't got one. You have a problem with that?" Yugi asked, trying to sound tough. Fabio looked at him and laughed. Then Tristan punched him in the face. "Tell me, guys, is my 'tough guy' voice really that funny?" asked Yugi. Tristan and Tea both said yeah.  
Everybody ran to the last place they hadn't checked. The cafeteria. They pushed the doors open and walked in. Of course, being school and all, the fluorescent light s had burned out. While straining to find Joey, the doors closed behind them. Tristan tried to open the doors, but they are conveniently locked on the outside. Then, they heard a familiar laugh that could only belong to one person. 


	3. Gus, the Ranting Hobo

thanks 4 all the reviews. i feel so luved. u wanted more, so here ya go.:) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Disclaimer: i still don't own Yu-gi-oh. if i did, i wouldn't be writing stories and posting them on the internet. i wuld pay somebody else 2 write them. but, i do own Gus the ranting hobo and the Friends Song. if u don't get it yet, u will. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Tristan and Yugi turned around to see Joey, laughing at them. "Hey, look guys. I found a penny!" Tea said. All three of them did that anime sweat drop-thing. She said, "I have finally achieved my life's goal: to find three pennies in a single week!" "Tea, as usual. You're about as smart as apple pie. Hahahahaha!" Yugi and Tristan looked at each other. It wasn't them that had said that. "Over here, you fools. It's me, your old buddy, Joey Wheeler," he said with a smirk. "Joey! Are you all right, man? You've been acting strange all day! And that's not including you locking us in the lunch room!" Tristan said. Joey let out an evil snicker. " Haven't you noticed yet? I am not this Joey Wheeler of which you speak about. I am Maximillion Pegasus, back from the Shadow Realm." Tristan and Yugi gasped. After a minute of waiting for Tea to gasp, they noticed she was eating. "Hey, did you know that they keep food in here???" While Yugi and Tristan were trying to figure out how she became so stupid, the possessed Joey walked up and knocked them out. "Hey, I'm talking to you. hey, I didn't know it was naptime. I swear, they need to stop acting so retarded." Tea said. "Joey" snarled at her. "It's because of you that my mind was banned to the Shadow Realm. It's because of your friendship speeches that Yugi gained the strength to overcome my monster. One by one, I will release more minds from the Shadow Realm to possess the youth of Domino City! And you will pay, Tea-boy(A/N: That's just an inside joke between me and my friends)." Just then, the light switch in Tea's brain switched on. She jumped on top of the cafeteria tables and ran down them. She found an open window(A/N: Starting now, "Joey" will be called Pegasus. And what's a window doing in a cafeteria?) and jumped out. "You can run, but you can't hide," Pegasus said. Tea ran as fast as she could to her house, which isn't that fast. She almost stopped to rant more about friendship, but caught herself before she did. When she got to her door, she saw a hobo sitting on her porch. "Hullo, there, hobo. What's your name?" Tea asked. "WHY DO YA WANNA KNOW??? HUH, HUH, HUH??? SO YOU CAN MAKE FUN OF ME?!?!?! IS THAT WHY?" the hobo said. "No, I just wanted to know your name, ranting hobo. "IT'S GUS! WHAT, YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?!?!?!" Gus said. Tea replied, "No, I like your name. I.I." "WHAT, YOU GOT A PROBLEM?!?!?!" Gus asked. "I THINK YOU NEED FRIENDS!!! FRIENDS ARE THE BEST THING EVER! I'M GLAD I HAVE MY FRIENDS! YOU.NEED.FRIENDS!!!" Tea said. She new she was screaming about friendship, but, the switch in her brain had been turned off, so she didn't care. "LET'S SING THE FRIENDS SONG! FRIENDS, FRIENDS, FRIENDS, FRIENDS, FRIENDS, FRIENDS, FRIENNNNDS!!! Tea sung. Then she stomped over Gus and went inside her house. "What a friendly, ranting, slightly threatening hobo he is," Tea said. As soon as Tea got inside, she started frolicking in La-La-Land. After an hour of frolicking, she ran to the phone to call 911. "Now, let's see. What was the phone number again?" After 30 minutes of trying to recall the number, she remembered it. "Hello, police? This is an emergency!" Tea screamed over the phone. "Tea, is that you? Look, if you flooded the bathroom again, I can't help you. I told you, only put a little toilet paper in the potty." The policeman said. Tea answered, "That only happened three times! And this time, it's a real emergency! See, my friend, Joey, has been possessed by the evil mind of Pegasus, you know, the creator of Duel Monsters, that has escaped from the Shadow Realm, and he's trying to kill me, and he's really freaking me out, and my two other friends, Tristan and Yugi, are taking a nap, and I'm too retarded to no what to do, and I REALLY need your help!" The policeman said, "Tea, I told you. Only call when you have a real problem. You have some imagination, though. Shadow Realm, please. What do you take me for, a fool?" Then he hung up. At that moment, Tea knew what to do. "MOMMMMY!!!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
well, wat do u think? PLEASE REVIEW! I can't post up another chapter if u don't! now, i must go think of more evil and twisted things to put in the next chapter. :) 


	4. Peep Show

u like me, u really like me! ok, that mite b an overstatement, but so wat. i'm glad ya'll liked the last 1 so much. here's a 'nother chappy 4 u all. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Disclaimer: still, don't own yugioh. wish I did, but don't, so y don't u get it through ur thick skulls!!! i'm just kidding, don't hunt me down and kill me in a painful manner. but, i do own Chu-chi. i didn't know tea's mom's real name, so i made 1 up. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMMMMY!" Tea screamed. Chu-chi said, "What is it now, Tea? Did you flood the bathroom again?" "NO! Why does everyone ask me that?!?! It's a real live emergency, mom. My friend Joey, you know Joey, has been possessed by Maximillion Pegasus, who's out for revenge, and Yugi and Tristan, you know Yugi and Tristan, are still taking a nap, I think, and so I came here, only to be stopped by a ranting hobo, and then I called the police, but they wouldn't help me, and I can't think of anything because I'm running around like a chicken with it's head cut off, and you're the only person I thought I could turn." Tea was turning blue. "Breath, honey, BREATH!!! *deep sigh* I knew your father's genes would kick in sooner or later." After Tea was back to normal, at least, as normal as she can be, Chu-chi said, "I can't help you, honey. I have to make goodies for your school's bake sale." Tea started to cry. "You just think I'm some retarded kid, don't you?!?!" Tea ran upstairs to her room. "She better be glad I didn't answer her question." Chu-chi said.  
Meanwhile, back at the school, Yugi came to his senses. His memory was a little fuzzy, but he remembered something about Pegasus. He looked around. Hmmm, looks like nobody else is here, he thought. So, he got up and started walking torwards the door. "OWWWW!!!" Yugi looked under his foot. He was stepping on Tristan's face. "You better hope you didn't mess up my face, Munchkin!" Tristan yelled at him, "I'll hunt you down, rip off your face, and feed it to my cat!(A/N: The line about ripping his face off is from a kid at my school. She can take full credit for the line.)" "Not again." Yugi said. "Hey, where's Tea?" Tristan asked. Yugi said, "Maybe she jumped out that window and ran to her house and met a ranting hobo and called the police and then talked to her mom and then ran upstairs." "Yugi, how long have you had to think of that? Like she would really meet a ran ting hobo." Tristan said. Yugi then asked, "Tristan, why is there a window in the lunch room? I've always wanted to know." Tristan replied, "Just shut up and let's go find Tea, alright?" Yugi gave a little whimper and nodded.  
Tristan called Tea's house to see if she was there. Her mom picked up. "Hello, Mrs. Tea's mom. Is Tea home?" "Yes, hold on just a second." Chu- chi put down the phone. Tristan could hear her in the background yelling, "TEA! PHONE FOR YOU!" Tea didn't pick up. "TEA! PICKUP THE *beepin'* PHONE!!!" Tea still didn't answer. "I'm sorry, Tea isn't. Hello?" Tristan had already hung up. They had been hurrying to Tea's house for the past few minutes. "Tea sure has some RUDE little friends!"  
Tristan and Yugi made it to her house. "It wouldn't have taken half as long if you didn't need to stop to pet that dog." Tristan said. "It wasn't a dog, it was a puppy!" Yugi replied. Tristan looked at Yugi and said, "Silly fagett, dicks are for chicks(A/N: This is also not mine. A girl at school told it to me)," and knocked on the door. Chu-chi opened the door. "Hello, Mrs. Tea's mom. How nice to." Chu-chi slammed the door in his face. She yelled through the door, "That's what you get for hanging up on me!" Tristan turned to Yugi, "Okay, that plan didn't work out very well. So, we're gonna use you as a front man so Tea's mom will have to let us in." Yugi asked him, "Are you just TRYING to scar me for life?" "Yes, yes I am," Tristan answered, "but we can talk about that later. Right now, we need to find a wheelchair, a jar of fish heads, and a stuffed monkey toy with the head ripped off. Of course, when I say 'we' I mean you." Yugi stuck his tongue out. Trisatan said, "You better run before I get you!!!" So, Yugi went to go find these items. It only took him 10 seconds. "WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG!!! I thought you got yourself lost like you did last time I sent you to go get some stuff. It was actually pretty funny. Remember, you ran into that." as Tristan recalled the story, Yugi climbed into the wheelchair, with some difficulty, because of his height problem and all, and grabbed the fish heads and the monkey toy. ".and then you figured out that you were in your house the whole time! That was great." Once again, Tristan knocked on the door. Chu-chi, once again, opened the door. "Mrs. Tea's mom! Come, quick! Yugi's been hit by a rouge pickle juice carrier! All he has left is his little stuffed monkey. Please, help us out!" Chu- chi, starting to cry, rushed them inside. Once in, Tristan said he had to use the bathroom. While upstairs, he looked in Tea's room. "Tea? Oh, Tea?" he said. He opened the door all the way to look for her. Then he spotted her. "Hey, T." Then he realized that Tea was getting dressed. "GET OUT, YOU LITTLE PERVERT! GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!!! Tristan covered his eyes and ran out of her room as fast as he could. Hearing Tea scream, Chu-chi ran up the stairs carrying Yugi by the ear. "YOU.LITTLE.SICKO!!! You used your little friend as a front man so you could peep on my daughter?!?!?" "No, it's nothin' like that. And besides, who would wanna peep on her? She got no bounce." Just exactly like Tea, she said, "GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!!!" He and Yugi rushed out. "Man, Chu-chi can really pull your ear off. Mine feels like it's about to fall off!" Yugi said. Tristan just looked at him and kept on walking. While staring at Yugi, he bumped into somebody. "Oh, sorry person. I was just." Then he looked into the face of the person he had just bumped into. It was Pegasus. "So nice to see you again, Tristan-boy." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ yeah, i kno. it's taken me a while to post up this chappy. but, i eventually did, so u better be happy! ur lukky that ii care about ya'll enuff 2 even put another chapter! sorry, 2 much sugar in my cocoa puffs this mornin'. and, i had 2 wake up early, and I'm still sleepy! ~o~. so, y don't u hit the little button and review me, i mean, my story. 


	5. The Finale, Y'all!

hey!!! even though all my loyal fans hav prob'ly stop-ed reading my stuff, i'll put up another chapter n-e ways. mayb cuz I havn't updated in 4ever, but that's besides the point! Ok, whatever, just read, if u can remember how 2.  
  
  
  
disclaimer: blahblahblah, if u really wanna look at the legal-like stuff, read the other chapters!  
  
  
  
"EEEEEEEEK!!!!" Yugi screamed, as a little girl scout, I mite add, and then fainted. "Pegasus, you should be ashamed of yourself! Making Yugi faint and scream all at the same time!" Tristan said. "Well, I'm not, so there! And just please shut up!" AS you can probably guess from chapter three, he knocked him out again. Pegasus made his way up to the Tea residence-place-thingy. He pushed the door open and paid no attention to the screaming of Mrs. Tea's mom. Pegasus found Tea's room and barged in. And yes, Tea WAS dressed this time. What are you doing here?! Haven't you learned to knock??? I'm sorry, I just can't tolerate(A/N: whoa, 3 syllable word!) impolite villains. Oh yeah, and where are Tristan and Yugi?" Tea said, being her Tea-ish self. "I knocked them unconscious," Pegasus replied. Tea said, surprisingly calm, "Really now, can't you be original? I mean, COME ON, you knocked them out in chapter three! Why couldn't you have, like, dislocated their shoulders or something?"(A/N: she's so naïve, isn't she?) Pegasus ignored her and went in for the kill.  
Tea shrieked. Just as Pegasus was about to kill her, Alex Trebek came out of nowhere. "Alex Trebek?! How did you get here???" Pegasus said. Alex said, "You just picked important people for 1000. This person is typing this story right now and brought you into existence in this story." "Ummmmmm...Shakira?" Pegasus answered. "No, I'm sorry. First of all, you didn't answer in the form of a question. And second of all, the answer was cracker184. I'm here because he wanted me to be here. And furthermore," "O JUST SHUT UP!!! YOU TALK TO MUCH!" Pegasus told him. "gasp Is it really you?" Tea asked. "Yes, of course it's me," Alex told her. "WOW!!! I never thought I would ever meet you in person! EVER!!! Can I have your autograph, Mr. Barker?" Tea said. Alex, insulted that he would be confused with Bob Barker, did the little sweatdrop- thingy(A/N: just so ya know, I like price is rite better, but, u don't really care, do u?).  
After getting un-embarrased, Alex turned to Tea. "Now, you picked weapons for 1000. This weapon is most commonly used by SWORDSmen, and this weapon starts with an S and ends with WORD." Tea thought about this difficult question for a while. Pegasus, just being curious, waited to see what she would say. After some time, she said, "What is...CHICKEN, Bob?" Alex stared at her trying to find out why she hadn't been hit by a car yet. He said, "NO!!! The answer was SWORD, you sped(A/N: for all u un- edumakated peoples, sped means "special ed")!!! Here, have this sword as a consolation prize." Tea squealed in excitement and tested how sharp it was with her face. Then, her brain turned on once more. She got into a battle stance with the sword pointing towards Pegasus. "Prepare to die!!!!" she said. Pegasus laughed and said, "If you kill me, all you are doing is killing Joey. So go ahead, you fool!" She said, "Hmmmmm...ok." So she stabbed him right through the chest. At theat moment, Duke stopped trying to throw sharp objects at people and that other girl stopped trying to butcher people with safety scissors. Everybody who was possessed returned to normal.  
  
A few weeks later...  
  
Tea was charged with the murder of Joey Wheeler. Her family had to pay all of Tea's college tuition and sell their house. O yeah, and Tristan and Yugi never came out of their comas. So Tea made friends with Gus, the ranting hobo.  
  
THE END!!!!!  
  
  
  
so, wat didya think? It took me long enuff 2 finish this one, huh? Well, wat r u waiting 4?!?!?! Y aren't u reviewing?!?!? REVIEW! NOW!!!


End file.
